Christmas Presents for Mum and Dad Who Say They Want Nothing

By Vicki Richards, National Customer Manager at The Gourmet Pantry.

Parents who say they do not want anything usually mean they do not want another object. Food is the way around it. Something good to eat, at a grade they would not buy for themselves, is used up by New Year and leaves nothing to find a shelf for. That is the whole trick, and Christmas hampers are built on it.

What "we do not need anything" is usually about

It is rarely modesty. Two things sit underneath it, and the second is the one to act on.

The first is space. Parents in their seventies and eighties are more likely to be clearing a house out than filling one, and they are not keen on you spending real money on something that then needs a home.

The second is the gap between what they like and what they buy. Most people have a short list they will not pay full price for themselves: proper shortbread instead of the supermarket packet, loose leaf tea instead of bags, olives from a producer they have heard of. Habit and a fixed income both push people down to the everyday version and keep them there. That gap is where the present goes.

So the test has three parts. It has to be eaten or drunk, it has to be better than the version they buy themselves, and it should be easy to hand around when someone drops in.

Five presents that pass that test

1. The biscuit they ration

Shortbread is the reliable one, because almost every parent likes it and almost nobody buys the good version weekly. In our biscuits and shortbread range, Jen's traditional shortbread is $9.95 for 300g, and the Valley Produce Co shortbread tins are $19.95 for 180g, free from artificial colours and flavours. The tin gets reused for something, which is the one kind of object nobody minds receiving.

2. Tea or coffee one grade up

A daily habit is the easiest thing to improve, and our tea and coffee shelf covers both. The Whittard Christmas Tea Clip Top Tin at $29.95 is the December one: 75g of loose black tea with vanilla, cloves and citrus in an embossed tin with a domed lid. One caveat. Loose leaf needs a pot or an infuser, so if your parents have only ever used bags, buy the coffee instead.

3. A savoury shelf they would not build themselves

Crackers, a tapenade, a chutney, some olives. Nobody assembles that for a Tuesday. The Greatest Gourmet Hamper at $129.95 is built along those lines: G For George red capsicum tapenade from The Regimental Condiment Company, Kangaroo Island Mediterranean olives, sea salt and olive oil pita crisps, black truffle potato chips and French rosemary almonds. There is a bottle of Bacanha mint and lime syrup in there too, which makes a proper cold drink with soda water for the parent who is not drinking.

4. Something to hand around when visitors arrive

This is the part people underrate. Between Christmas and mid-January, neighbours and old friends turn up without much notice, and having something good to put on a plate is worth more to a lot of parents than the present itself.

The Gourmet Emporium Hamper at $169.95 is the biggest alcohol-free box we pack and it is stocked for exactly that: three styles of cracker, Indian Light Infantry fruit chutney, olives and tapenade on the savoury side, then Scottie Dog butter shortbread, Ligurian bee honey popcorn, cocoa dusted Belgian truffles and caramel sea salt fudge. It gets opened in December and is still producing something for the plate in January.

5. A bottle, but only if they still drink

If wine is genuinely part of their week, the Luxury Finest with Sauvignon Blanc Hamper at $129.95 pairs a bottle with the food to go beside it, which is more use than a bottle on its own. If one of them has stopped, or is on medication, or you are not certain, do not guess. Our alcohol-free hampers carry the same food without the bottle, which usually means an extra item or two rather than a smaller box.

One box, two people

Write both names on the card. It sounds small, but a hamper addressed to one parent gets treated as that parent's present, and the point of food is that it is shared.

Nothing in these boxes needs a freezer or a spare afternoon. Every hamper is packed by hand in Corio, on the northern edge of Geelong, with a personalised gift card written out at no extra cost and track and trace on the parcel. We taste everything we range, which is why the same few producers keep turning up in the boxes above.

How much to spend, and when to send it

There is no correct number, but the bands are steady. Under $80 buys one good box for two people. Most people buying for parents land between $90 and $130, which is eight to ten items and enough range that neither parent is left with only the sweet half. Above that you are buying quantity rather than better food. Shipping is free Australia-wide over $100, so a middle-band box often costs less delivered than a cheaper one.

If several of you are going in together, one larger box beats three small ones. Parents reducing the amount of stuff in the house feel the same way about three cardboard boxes as about three ornaments.

On timing: orders placed before 12pm on a weekday are dispatched the same day, but we do not offer same-day delivery, so the calendar matters more than the postcode. Australia Post confirms its Christmas dates in October, and mid-December is the practical limit for interstate parcels in a busy year. Set your own deadline at the first week of December, and if nobody is home during the day, send it somewhere it can be taken in.

For a shortlist rather than the whole range, our guide to the best Christmas hampers in Australia sets the boxes out side by side. If you would rather assemble one yourself, what to put in a Christmas hamper covers what survives an Australian summer in transit.

Questions we get about presents for parents

What do you get parents who say they do not want presents?

Something consumable and better than what they buy for themselves. Food and drink cost them no shelf space, carry no obligation to be displayed, and are gone by the end of January. A hamper is the simple version because it arrives complete, but one good tin of biscuits or a $29.95 tea does the same job on a smaller budget.

What is a good Christmas gift for parents who have everything?

Look at what they have run out of rather than what they own. Parents who have everything still eat, and they still ration the expensive version of ordinary things. Crackers, olives, a tapenade, truffles, proper shortbread: none of it is owned for long, and all of it gets shared with whoever calls in over the holidays.

How much should you spend on a gift for your parents?

Enough that it is clearly not the everyday version, and not so much that they feel awkward about it. In practice that is $90 to $130 for a hamper for two people, or $30 to $60 for a single good thing. Free shipping starts at $100, so a $129.95 box and an $89.95 box can end up closer in total than they look.

The alcohol-free boxes are the safest starting point for parents, and they sit on the Christmas hampers page alongside the wine and champagne ones. Order early in December, put both names on the card, and let the food do the rest.